Every lifelong NBA fan has run into him at one time or another. The most casual of basketball watchers (typically age 35+), who watches 60 minutes of actual NBA basketball a season, mostly of the highlight variety. For reasons that only the most twisted version of karma can justify, you're stuck talking to this guy about sports. You mention that you like the NBA, and suddenly, you're listening to some flimsy subjective analysis of why the NBA is inherently bad. And you have to make a choice.
You can meekly agree, affirming every ridiculous thing they say for the sake of avoiding an awkward conversation. If you're having a drink, you can throw it on them (the modern-day face slap with a glove). Or, you can fight stupid with fact. If you're like me, then you're too much of a man to go option #1. But, if you're like me, you're not man enough for option #2. So, you're stuck with option #3. If that's the way you're gonna go, this is an attempt to provide the weapons against the various arguments that come up, one by one.
Stupid Argument: The League is Rigged
The idea is that some group of people (the league office, David Stern, ESPN) decides the script every year so that the right teams play, and the right team wins. Therefore, the NBA playoffs are the same as the WWE's Royal Rumble. The basis of this argument usually stems from some game in which a marquee team received preferential treatment relative to a less popular team. First off, trying to bring up the same accusations in other sports (Duke basketball) don't work, so don't bother. The better path? A few recent series that didn't go the way the NBA marketing department would have wanted. And, as luck would have it, it turns out there are a few such instances.
2000 Eastern Conference Finals: Knicks vs. Pacers
What the NBA wanted: Knicks.
What the NBA got: Pacers.
With the Lakers playing the Blazers in the Western Conference finals, a Knicks win would have put them in the NBA Finals for 2 straight years, and given us Lakers-Knicks matchup for the title. Shaq vs. Ewing, Kobe vs. Sprewell, and the #1 and #2 NBA markets in the league showcase.The Pacers were a nice story, but New York's TV market dwarfed Indiana's. Could have been some serious ratings, but somehow, the league let the Pacers shoot 23 more free throws in the series (20 more in Games 5 and 6). NO RIGGING.
2002 Western Conference Finals: Lakers vs.Kings
What the NBA wanted: Lakers.
What the NBA got: Lakers.
Lakers-Kings in the Western Conference finals - a dream matchup for the league and fans. Two time defending champs against the most fun team in the league (fun to watch, fun to play for). In Game 6, the Lakers had a 40-25 disparity in free throw attempts, and won to force Game 7. Strange result considering that through 5 games, the Kings had shot 39 more free throws. Plus, the image of Mike Bibby's face fouling Kobe Bryant's elbow in the last 30 seconds just doesn't help things. POSSIBLE RIGGING.
2002 Eastern Conference Finals: Nets vs. Celtics
What the NBA wanted: Celtics.
What the NBA got: Nets.
While Lakers-Kings was the more compelling conference finals matchup that year, the Pierce-Walker Celtics had the chance to go back to the Finals, setting up the first potential Celtics-Lakers matchup since 1987. There's no more compelling NBA matchup than Celtics-Lakers, and there's no question who the league office wanted to win. Unfortunately, The Nets ended up winning, and got swept by the Lakers amid terrible ratings that would have been enormously helped by some Celtics-Lakers marketing. NO RIGGING.
2005 NBA Eastern Conference Finals: Heat vs. Pistons
What the NBA wanted: Heat.
What the NBA got: Pistons.
The Pistons were the defending champions, but Shaquille O'Neal had transformed the Heat from playoff team to title contender in the most famous trade of the decade. Shaq may have been the biggest draw since MJ left the league, and his return to the Finals with a new team and a new sidekick (a young Dwyane Wade) would certainly be a boon for the league. The most significant swing in this series was probably Wade's Game 5 rib injury, and it's unlikely the league wanted that to happen, since Spurs-Pistons was a ratings disaster. NO RIGGING.
2006 Western Conference 1st Round: Lakers vs. Suns
What the NBA wanted: Lakers.
What the NBA got: Suns.
The Lakers were back in the playoffs on the strength of Kobe Bryant's scoring and little else. The 7 Seconds or Less Suns, sans Stoudemire and Joe Johnson, just weren't as exciting. So, when the Lakers went up 3-1 in Game 4, everyone knew what the league would do next. Have the Suns shoot 7 more free throws than the Lakers in the next 3 games, and win 3 straight to send Kobe and the Lakers home. NO RIGGING.
2007 Eastern Conference 1st Round: Heat vs. Bulls
What the NBA wanted: Heat.
What the NBA got: Bulls.
The Miami Heat were the defending champions, and boasted two NBA All-Star game starters (Shaq and Wade), who had the #12 and #2 selling jerseys that year, respectively. The Chicago Bulls had no All-Star players, and were led by Ben Gordon, Kirk Hinrich, and Luol Deng. Waiting in the next round would likely be the Detroit Pistons, who had developed a nice two year rivalry with the Heat in the conference finals. So, naturally, the Bulls swept the champs out of the playoffs. NO RIGGING.
2009 Eastern Conference Finals: Cavs vs. Magic
What the NBA wanted: Cavs.
What the NBA got: Magic.
The Cleveland Cavaliers were the league's best regular season team. Lebron James had won his first MVP, and his team was 8-0 in the 1st 2 rounds of the playoffs. Most sports media were watching Lebron perform at a transcendent level, and bursting with praise about the league's torch being passed to the next Great One. With the Lakers hurtling towards another Finals berth, the league had the chance for Kobe's Lakers versus Lebron's Cavaliers. Of course, the Magic won the series 4-2. NO RIGGING.
2011 Western Conference Semis: Lakers vs. Mavs
What the NBA wanted: Lakers.
What the NBA got: Mavs.
The Lakers were the two-time defending champs. Kobe was going for his 6th title. Phil Jackson was going for his 12th as a coach. Phil was even writing a book to chronicle his team's quest for the title. The Dallas Mavericks' postseason resume was more noted for historic collapses (2006 finals, 2007 1st round) than successes. With the Thunder waiting to resume their L.A. rivalry from the 2010 playoffs, and a Celtics/Bulls/Heat combatant likely waiting in the Finals, the Lakers could have brought the league its most successful ratings by making it back to the Finals. Naturally, the Mavs swept the Lakers straight out of the playoffs. NO RIGGING.
So, over the last 11 years, 8 times the league had a clear preference in who won a playoff series, based on the potential benefit for ratings and revenues. 7 times, the other guy won. So, the argument that the NBA is rigged is based on the league getting its way 12.5% of the time? Right.
Unfortunately, this argument is mostly hopeless against your combatant. They have no memory of anything that doesn't serve their ridiculous point of view, and will probably counter any example you use as wrong or a lie, for reasons they can't explain. Don't worry - when it comes to making rational, factual arguments, you're right. But arguing this point is like arguing politics: they don't like your point of view, and there's nothing you can say that will change their mind.
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